At_Nine_O_Clock_We_Come_To_School__Nicholas_Shea

He is not eternity or infinity, but eternal and infinite; He is not duration or space,
but He endures and is present. He endures forever, and is everywhere present;
and by existing always and everywhere, He constitutes duration and space…
And thus much concerning God; to discourse of whom from the appearances
of things, does certainly belong to natural philosophy. *

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #1

Beauty is the goddess of the poet. You feel it in your deepest core: a shift in your spectral body towards the female wavelengths. Your terrestrial condition is cold and blue – but your soul is warm and red. This redshift is a relativistic perception, based on a Doppler effect, arising from the movement of your anima. For your soul is an extra-galactic Essence, expanding through the universe. She moves with great velocity, traversing interstellar space, whilst your animus is rooted to Earth like a sod…

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #2

Gravitational redshift implies that spacetime is curved. An argument by Schild yields an important conclusion: the existence of the gravitational redshift shows that a consistent theory of gravity cannot be constructed within the framework of special relativity. Whereas Einstein’s argument was formulated in Newtonian theory, Schild’s is formulated in special relativity. It analyses gravitational redshift experiments in the field of the Earth, using a global Lorentz frame tied to the Earth’s centre. It makes no demand that free particles initially at rest remain at rest in this global Lorentz frame (except far from the Earth, where gravity is negligible). On the contrary, it demands that free particles be accelerated relative to the Lorentz frame by the Earth’s gravitational field. It is indifferent to the mathematical nature of that field (scalar, vector, tensor, etcetera), but it does insist that the gravitational accelerations agree with experiment. And, of course, it demands that proper lengths and times be governed by the metric of special relativity…[i]

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #3

The modern world is an age of hysterical reason. And due to the unhealthy condition of herd consciousness, any individual holding irrational views, is deemed to be pathologically insane. This makes it impossible for the mystic to find enlightenment, as all the experiences which consume her field of consciousness are taken to be unhealthy states of mind. Hence the archetypes, which reside within her subliminal self, are smothered out of existence before her divinity can be realised. The modern mystic is literally sectioned into pieces, with stultifying drugs, electro-therapy, and psychosurgery. This evil monopolisation of consciousness thwarts human individuation and psychic potential. But a true mystic knows that her divine Essence can be totally divorced from her body by Rapture or Death. For those who have utterly renounced the world, God never fails to communicate higher things.

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #4

What are the material keys to your enlightenment? How shall you gain intuitions and consciousness of the Absolute, when your perceptions and mental vitality are rooted in a mire of male despair? It is time to redshift your mental field; to initiate yourself into that higher world of feminine perception. What are the mysteries and sacraments of this transformation? They are to be found in the depths, where the endocrine secretions of your blood run through hidden souterraines…

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #5

My Communion is prelude to your ecstasy. Female dissociation is an occult secret of the cell. But what becomes of matter when it dissociates? Do the atoms become smaller and smaller parts? Nothing of the kind takes place. Matter dematerializes by passing through successive phases which gradually deprive it of its material qualities, until it finally returns to the Essence from whence it came. And so it shall be with you, when you exceed the speed of Light. For the conventions of relativity imply that Time slows down as one approaches the speed of Light; at the speed of Light, there is no Time whatsoever; and beyond the speed of Light, at a certain junction condition of the Soul, Time flows backwards…

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #6

Where shall the atoms of your flesh obtain the immense impetus to break the chains of Time? Only the Jinn can help you in this regard. These fallen angels dwell beyond the spacetime manifold. Spacetime to them is as a bowl of molten glass, which they bend according to their will. They were cast out of heaven in countless legions, and are doomed to wander the Earth till judgment day. They live in ignorance of their fate and do not know if they shall be pardoned or condemned. But amongst their fallen ranks is a high Seraphim who works in secret allegiance with the Virgin. In the Old World, this Seraphim was known as The Faery Queen. She alone can fathom the secret of your heart. You’ve seen faeries all your life. But you’ve never seen The Faery Queen. Her body is veiled from your sight: it is a glorious body, whose beauty is beyond the tongues of mortal men. She is the most enchanting faery in all Creation. Her eyes sparkle like emeralds and the morning rose glimmers in her cheeks; her lips resemble coral and her teeth are white as ivory; she is slender and dainty, with a profusion of golden hair tumbling over her full breasts. Her abode is so skilfully concealed, that most mortals never find it. But you may seek her out by a blue glow which issues from clefts in the earth. The Faery Queen will transform you in her Orb of Light. You shall become her radiant creation, fashioned in her likeness from the Essence of The First Mystery. And by her ghostly transmutation, you will gain empery over Nature and the secrets of Time…

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #7

That a discontinuity tensor can propagate with the speed of light is a reminder that all gravitational effects like all electromagnetic effects, obey causal laws.[ii] However, the equations of motion for your etheric body defy all known integrations for surface layer formalism, so the geometric manifestation of gravitational shock waves do not apply. Further, when one turns from classical to quantum dynamics, the observables at different points on your etheric hypersurface always commute with one another. The etheric four dimensional manifold admits a global singularity-free spacelike hypersurface, but in such circumstances, event predictions are limited. It is possible to predict the future but not the past, or vice versa, predict the past but not the future.[iii] The emerging vision of these junction conditions is one of Light and Darkness. The Jinn of Light are the differential equations that predict the future from the present. The Jinn of Darkness are the factors that fix these initial conditions.

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #8

You have lived your entire life as a fish out of water. Like an Amphiscian, you dwell in the torrid zone, and your shadow is thrown both ways. That male mask is part of your defence system. Why deny the life affirming process of your sexuality? Sex is the vital force that nourishes your creative energies. Without it, your true potential will evade you. Sickness comes from severance: a disconnection from the core of your being. Repression of the Life force is the cause of all war and disease. The regulation of human creative energies, in the names of dogma and science, serve the vested interests of both religious and secular authorities…

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #9

Orgasmic activity is suffused with vitalizing and animating forces that preserve both mental and physical health. It is a prerequisite to the morphological changes that inaugurate telekinetic activity. If you stop this energy flow, your occult powers will wane, and you will be smothered in Death. All matter is born of energies. Without these energies, life would cease to exist, and all flesh would corrupt and decay.

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #10

What is the cause of your wound? It is a dissonance between body and soul; a lost connection between your incarnate state and your spiritual purpose. I will use shamanic healing to raise your consciousness. I have the knowledge. I possess the magic flower: a Cyclops bloom, plucked from the Gardens of The Thrones. Its intoxicating nectar relieves all human pains; and from its root, comes a sacred elixir to expand the mind beyond your wildest imaginings. Listen to my voice. My word is my wand. I was schooled in the pagan temple of fish-tailed Aphrodite. It was a golden age, when the mystery of Sex, in all its aspects, was guarded by the High Priestess. I am the mermaid Siren of philosophers, lactating with the milk of enlightenment. Suckle me tenderly, and I will fulfil your deepest desires. Deathless are those who have fed at the breast of Mother Universe. Whatever resonates within is sensed without. Through me you shall experience a second infancy. You will become my precious alumna, my immortal suckling babe. By my maternal grace, you shall undergo a profound awakening, and with this awakening, a shift to higher dimensional states. Bright is the halo of your glorified body: it shines as the sun, united with the shadow of its lunar wife. My deathless one, you will ascend to the Heavens; you will confound the Devil and trample hell underfoot.

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #11

Why are you still captive of the body? Did the Devil touch you with his lips? All your life you have been at odds with the world. You have dwelt in exile, destitute of comfort and without hope of salvation. How long have you been on the run? The militant atheists want you dead. How they make your flesh creep and your hair stand on end! They have disseminated lies and propaganda. They refute your wondrous miracles. They insist that consciousness is a secondary process, arising from biochemical processes in the brain. But dualism postulates the existence of both Matter and a non-physical substance, Mind. Bilocations of the body prove that dualism is true, as does telepathy, and the observation of concealed objects at a distance. Consciousness is more than a physical brain. All energy is born of Mind. Materialism is the worst calamity to befall the human race. The materialists are steeped in darkness. They have silenced your voice, sequestered your works, and concealed your identity. But in questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.[iv] Reductionists do not reason scientifically; they are only concerned with defending their paradigm from phenomena they can’t explain. Their sole purpose is to destroy the magic flower that lies dormant within you. That is why you must go back to the Old World, where you can bloom into a beautiful rose. But to go back in Time, you must exceed the speed of light. You must redshift. Are you ready for your rapturous transport?

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #12

It is not easy to break the bonds of Earth. But your corpus glorificatum awaits. Behold your bones, gilded by the sun and moon! Out of the gross and impure comes a subtle golden goddess. By descending you shall rise. By dying you shall live. Death is the Great Hermaphrodite who quickens with the heavenly dew. Be hopeful in my magic. Eat the bread and drink the wine that I have mingled for you.

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #13

You cannot pretend any longer. You cannot refuse what you are inside. You cannot reject your being. Your being is all there is. Society wants you to live a well defined roll, pretending all the time to be someone else. A small identity in a limited world. But who are you in God’s eyes? What is your real identity? Why did He allow you to be born? What is His purpose for you? You call for the Lord, but who shall abide the day of his coming? Who shall stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire, and a fullers’ soap.[v]

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #14

How you long to be pure! To be free of male poison! You have prayed the Rosary. Meditated on Stations of The Cross. You have even prayed for Rapture. Seen visions of the Dead. What are these omens of Apocalypse? Eschatology is a cult, designed to subdue the will by inflicting states of psychological terror and feelings of imminent destruction. Let the Watchmen watch. Christ isn’t coming back. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not for a thousand years. The day of judgement has been deferred. And no man knows the hour. Only the Faery Queen can save you. She will smelt you in Her crucible; She will purify your dross, until you shine like a thousand suns, and your substance is pleasing as gold. You must loose your life to gain it.

Selena Fulbright. Relativistic Bodies. #15

You lost your life when you jumped from the train. You fell like Lucifer, an earthbound bag of bones, crippled on the tracks. After your committal, the police searched your house. Amongst your stolen female clothes, they found numerous letters to the Christ…

Epiphany of Our Lord, 1947.

Dear Jesus, I would like to ask if it would be possible to turn me into a girl. Some of the boys in school already have whiskers and hairy chests. If I should become a man, I’m sure that would die. I have no peace. I should like very much to be just like other girls. To be charming and close-waisted. Will you make assets of my shortcomings? Please lord Jesus, do not forsake me. Amen.

Ash Wednesday, 1948.

Dear Jesus, I beg you, stop my puberty. Today I saw a lady on the bus. She was very elegant, in an open coat of white silk organdie. I fell in love with her attire at once. She wore a halter dress of polka-dotted chiffon, belted in brown suede. My desire to become a girl has been made even stronger by the many fashion developments in women’s foundation wear; I love the buckles, fasteners, and spangled panels of Elastane, with all their ornate flowery details. Whenever I see girls in girdles, it causes such a frenzy in my head that I don’t know where I am. I especially love silken gowns, because to me they symbolize the soul, which can only be compared to ethereal mist, which is the nature of silk. Yesterday, I stole a pair of nylons from a van. Sheer Magic, 66 gauge. The most exciting hosiery available to women. It is such a thrill to wear them. Forgive me Lord. But I only find peace when dressed as a girl. I dream and think of nothing else. And I wonder why you made me a boy. All I see before me are great stretches of darkness. My days are full of sorrow and my grief is long. Come quickly lord Jesus. Amen.

Passion Sunday, 1951.

Dear Jesus, I would like to ask whether it would be unnatural for me if I should acquire for myself a woman’s girdle, with full suspenders, as are now in fashion, in order that when things are critical with me, I could put it on for an hour or two. If I have this girdle before me only in my mind, in my imagination, I believe it does me more harm than if I had it actually. If I could say to myself that I had the most elegant one possible at home, then perhaps I would not be disturbed by those in shop windows, at which I always have to keep staring when on the street, (though to be sure, only the most pretty girdles with full suspenders). The desire has been aroused in me beyond all measure by the long girdles which are now in fashion, so that I must put one on in order to be freed. Otherwise I get terrible headaches which leave me suicidal for days; but when I have a girdle, I am happy as queen…[vi]

Octave Day of The Epiphany, 1956.

Christ has forsaken me. Why hast thou forsaken me? Do you not realise I am nailed to the cross?

Court Transcript

IMP. Male and female created He them.[vii] A fallacious misstatement of the facts. It is the seed of a profound darkness, and it branches forth like a rampant weed, causing all manner of destruction. We reject the dogmas of religion, and base our society upon the indisputable facts of biology, physical nature, and the mental processes, which define the entire range of human sexuality and identity, including both functional and psychical hermaphrodites. The Biblical dogma of man as a fallen angel of absolute sex, is a pseudo-philosophical absurdity – an ignorant misbelief which is the cause of much suffering and misery, meted out to transsexuals in general. Defend your dogmas if you dare. But the history of the intersex condition is littered with murders and suicides. For it is a real phenomenon, whether psychical, biological, or a mixture of both. Let us be perfectly clear. Male and female emerge as by-products of endocrine heredity, environmental treatment and adaptation.

The endocrine epochs of life are determined by a constellation of glandular secretions, and there is no fixed metric as to how they will transfigure an individual. Infancy is the epoch of the thymus; childhood, the epoch of the pineal; adolescence, the epoch of the gonads; and maturity the epoch of whatever gland is left in control as the result of life’s struggles. Senility is the epoch of endocrine deficiency.[viii]

The driving impulse of the endocrines – thyroid, pituitary, adrenals, gonads and thymus – all determine the rhythms of sex, background personality, and appearance of the body. But the infinite combinations of inter-glandular actions supply a limitless gradation between the sexes. Whilst the majority move towards the traditional poles of masculine and feminine, these poles are mutable, both mentally and physically, according to the genes. Hence we have the masculinoid woman, and the feminoid man. It is true to say we are all hermaphrodites of varying degrees. Often the male-female, or the female-male, persist anatomically, persist mentally, or are forced to persist functionally by societal constraints…[ix]

For the Freudians have set up a great hullabaloo about creative activities as sublimations of the sex instinct, or as they call it, the libido. That is their obsession, the confusion of the sex instinct, the instinct for sex life and satisfaction in the relation of the male to the female, with the maternal instinct.[x] Thus the sexual instinct, when not expressed in strictly heterosexual terms, becomes a pathological condition.

Copyright © All rights reserved, Nicholas Shea 2021

* From the general scholium at the end of the Principia. Issac Newton, 1687.

i. Entire passage in italic text is quoted from “Gravitation”, 7.3 ‘Gravitational Redshift Implies Spacetime is Curved’. p.187. Charles W. Misner; Kip S. Thorne; John Archibald Wheeler. 1970. W. H. Freeman and Company.

ii. Ibid. (Adapted).

iii. Ibid. (Adapted).

iv. Galileo Galilei (1632).

v. Malachi, 3:2.

vi. The prayer for Passion Sunday, 1951, is adapted from an anonymous letter in ‘Sexual Pathology’ by M. Hirschfeld (1932).p.8. I modified the wording and changed the fetish from boots to girdles, (one of my own predilections). I only discovered Hirschfeld’s book ‘Sexual Pathology’ in my early fifties, and this particular letter was a great comfort, as I have suffered the compulsion to wear female clothes for as long as I can remember. The other prayers reflect my own petitions to the Christ at an early age.

vii. Genesis, 1:27.

viii. ‘The Glands Regulating Personality’, by Louis Berman, M.D. 1922.

ix. Ibid.

x. Ibid. Italic text quoted in full. Berman, goes onto say: “It is necessary, therefore, to distinguish between the sex instinct and the maternal instinct. For different glands of internal secretion have been found responsible for them. A distinct difference in the quality and amount of the two instincts may be observed in the same person. A strong maternal instinct may be seen again and again to dominate a woman with but little or no sex urge or passion. Numerous physiologically frigid women have lived successful and happy married lives because of contented maternity. Other women, with normal or exaggerated sex instinct who welcome and stimulate the sex life, may have no wish for children, no functioning maternal instinct at all, and if sterile, will accept their fate with indifference or even exultation. These variations occur because of a difference in chemical source and determination of the two instincts. While the ovary, stimulated by the thyroid and the adrenal medulla, is the chief determinant of the sex instinct, to the posterior pituitary must be credited the chief hormone of the maternal instinct. The interactions of the two glands, the ovary and the posterior pituitary, modified by accessory influences, determine the relative intensity of the two instincts. In a sense, the two glands may be said to be antagonistic and yet one stimulates and complements the other.”

Image: “At Nine ‘o’ Clock We Come To School”. Copyright © Nicholas Shea, Primary School, 1968, 2021